“I’m holding nothing back!”
“I call!”
He shows me his straight. I filth my 2 sets in disgust. It isn’t so much that I got outplayed. That doesn’t annoy me to an extreme. What DOES irritate me is the point at which I make a strong strategy en route to the club, yet when I arrive, my dim passenger dominates and the blueprint goes out the entryway. It’s like I am two people. From one perspective, I am a responsible father and husband. Patient, creative and frugal. Then again, I am an aggressive poker player – impatient, impulsive and sometimes careless.
Alright, perhaps my comparison to Dexter is an exaggeration. All things considered, its been a very long time PG I hacked up some shrewd fella and tossed his body parts in the sea.
I have a similar conversation each time I go to the gambling club. “Today I will play tight. No fishing. Just play position. Crease draws when I don’t have the chances. Return home when I lose my edge. Try not to go on slant when I get a terrible beat. Also, most importantly, FOLD WHEN I KNOW I AM BEAT!” I search in the mirror. Advise myself that I am in charge.
Then I get to the gambling club, quick stroll to the felt and thud down my chips and enthusiastically anticipate my most memorable Christmas present. 2 minutes later, every one of my chips are in the middle. 3 way activity and I am on the nut flush draw on the lemon. I nearly have chances and convince myself this is a decent spot to get everything in. 30 seconds later…..I am on slant, calling for chips and prepared to gamble. Very much like that, enter my dim passenger. It doesn’t take long until, I have lost my second purchase in. Right now, I take a gander at my telephone and realize I have been hanging around for just 75 minutes. Luckily the wallpaper on my iPhone is a picture of my child. In a split second I snap back. My horns withdraw, my teeth retreat, my tail disappears and I am myself once more. I breath profoundly and advise myself that I am not characterized by my last hand of poker.
I’m generally surprised when my clouded side emerges, however I have come to be grateful for him also. I use him as a measure for my personal development. The day I can take a beating and shake it off will be the day I have come to a higher degree of consciousness. It might sound a piece metaphysical, however that is one of the reasons I play poker.